I read in an etiquette book that when writing a late thank you note one shouldn’t bother mentioning the tardiness. It’s obvious. That said, I feel I need to acknowledge the vast gap in my blog posts. Some where along the way, my efforts to practice writing in this format became charged with fear and guilt, and I stopped writing. I’m fairly certain it was when I used this space to talk out the dynamics of a relationship gone bad. I felt entitled to share my experience here in my own words but after I was done, and the entry had spread and reached unexpected ears and eyes I felt betrayed. This is the thing, writing, like body work (yoga, weight lifting, running), changes you. Sometimes the change is one you’ve prepared for, like in writing an essay for school or copy for work and you feel relieved and accomplished when you turn in your work. Sometimes the change is short lived; there is always more copy to write, more emails to respond to, etc. Sometimes, however, the change causes deeply rooted beliefs to loosen, leaving the author unstable and exposed. Is this why as a society we’ve moved away from post offices and carelessly embraced the instant gratification of cell phones and text messaging? When was the last time you wrote a letter and mailed it? In the time from when you place your letter in the box and raise the flag until the addressee replies, the writer is left unknowing and vulnerable. Any number of things could go wrong, none as bad as the fear we burn into our own minds once we are out of control of our words.
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
― Joseph Campbell
I’m making a commitment today to walk into my cave. I wont promise to love it, to redecorate it, or to turn on any lights, just to be there regularly. I’ll write to you when I get there.
Wish me luck,
E
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